“My biggest fear isn’t that you’ll lie to me one day or that you’ll cheat on me. My biggest fear is that you’ll wake up before me one Tuesday morning and instead of leaning in and kissing me on the cheek, you’ll look at my sleeping body and start to notice all of my flaws. My crooked nose, my chapped lips and the stretch marks spread along my stomach and thighs like a road map. You’ll think about my random spouts of jealousy and the fact that I talk too much. You’ll remember how annoying it is that no matter what, I’m always right and just how selfish I can be sometimes. You’ll walk into the kitchen, brew a cup of black coffee, stare at the pale morning rays of sunlight entering the window frame, and come to the conclusion, that for no particular reason at all, you don’t love me anymore.”
I’m a clingy partner. I want to know what you’re doing throughout the whole day. Text me call me send me voice notes. I love hearing your voice. I’m always gonna hold your hand if we’re out in public. Let me bury my face in your neck. Be cuddly with me on weekends. Order food from restaurant and spend your day snuggling with me. Kiss me every hour and whisper ‘i love you’ in my ears. I’m not going to lose sight of you i want you in front of my eyes 24/7. <33
“one day i’ll find somebody to build a home with, one with no explosive rage in slammed cabinets or quiet anger in the walls that leaves a lingering pain. our kids will fake disgust when they see us kissing and laughing in the kitchen while making breakfast but when they’re 17 and experiencing a love that looks less than ours, they’ll know when to leave.”
— n.g. // i didn’t see this type of love growing up and as a result i let a man ruin me
1. See it as something that is temporary. Even though it hurts now, it doesn’t mean it’s permanent. You’ll find other people who will treat you well – so be gentle on yourself and recognise it will pass.
2. Learn to enjoy your own company. See it as a time to reflect on your life, and really think through what you want for yourself. Also, find different interests you can do on your own – and maybe try something different you’ve never tried before.
3. Spend time looking after an animal. Pets are accepting, reliable and loyal. They’ll never hurt your feelings – and are good company.
4. Treat other people you meet really well (talk to people at the checkout, or smile at those you meet). That will likely result in a warm, friendly response – and will remind you there are others who appreciate you.
5. Hang out with those who like the same things as you. If you’ve taken up a hobby or you like watching sport, speak to people you meet at these events. Even though you don’t know them, they are still good company.
6. Don’t let this bad experience hold you back. Keep reaching out to others, have the courage to take risks and eventually you’ll start to make some much better friends.
[image id: tweet posted on november 12, 2019 by @/jhala_c that reads:
“my therapist dropped a gem: you can’t spend your life avoiding heartbreak or bad things from happening. you have to condition yourself to have appropriate emotional responses but learn to keep moving forward.”
end image id]
avoiding all potential for bad will avoid all the good by extension.
this is why, when i look back on the worst times of my life, i genuinely would not change the past to avoid them, because always the good times & the loved ones i found in the process are too important to me.
the fact is, the possibilities for tomorrow are infinite, and the possiblity for good is always worth the risk to me.
